Shoveling In Shorts

12/29/06

In a blatant sign of defiance to the gods of cold and snow, I decided to shovel my driveway and walk wearing boxer shorts and boots.

The snow kept falling, I cleared the driveway, and a neighbor, who was shoveling her walk dressed in full ski gear, shouted over to me that she was now disgusted by the snow, she had had enough. She couldn't see my bottom half due to the height of the snow barriers that separated us. Nonetheless, my wife came outside and told me to stop showing off, that I might die, and to get in, and put some clothes on. (I was also wearing 2 shirts, a baseball cap and gloves.)

I told her to chill out, I was not showing off, was not going to die, and that no one was checking me out.

I may have been wrong about the last claim.

A man and woman walked passed me in the street where they were able to see me in my entirety. The woman held a small dog beneath one arm, and they both carried to-go cups of coffee from You-Know-Whos. The woman was talking into a cell phone that she held in the hand of the same arm that cradled the dog.

"Nice weather!" the guy said smiling at me.

"Beautiful!" I replied.

"I'll have to come back with my camera to take your picture!" he waved.

Of course I never told my wife that I was about to become a calendar boy for the man down the alley. I love the gods' sense of humor.