A Father's Pride

12/10/06

Something great happened to me today. The depth of emotion, bewilderment and pride, didn't register with me until the event was over.

Today my wife and I watched our 5 year old daughter Dakota perform in her first ballet recital on stage. Dakota had only one concern leading up to the show. Stage freight. I asked her what she was afraid of. She said she was afraid that the audience would boo if she made a mistake. I tried assuring her that everyone in the audience would be supportive.

Last night the issue came up again and as I looked into Dakota's eyes I knew that whatever I said next would shape the way she dealt with these challenges. I said, " Dakota, do you know what the most important thing to do is at your recital?" "What Daddy?" "It is to have F-U-N. Do you know what that spells - it spells fun!" And her eyes lit up and she smiled and we laughed.

She performed brilliantly, completely at ease. Afterwards she admitted that her only concern, while on stage, was that the large, blue bow in her hair didn't fall off.

Leaving the Newman Center parking lot it hit me. Dakota had just performed in the same venue that I had performed in! I immediately felt so proud. I had performed in the orchestra a few years back for Colorado Opera's production of Salome and Carmen. Dakota was only 2 at the time.

I explained to her that the stage she just danced on is as professional as it gets, the only thing that changes is the size of the audience. It was absolutely mind boggling to me, and yet it made complete sense. I only now recall how, as a small boy - 5 years old - I appeared on stage with my mother in a college play she was in. I played the role of a poor and hungary Russian boy. I don't remember having any lines, only that I sat on stage next to a drum set. I was transfixed by the deep and repetitive thumping of the bass drum.... A life of music is what followed for me. I wonder what will follow for my daughter.