Tan Biker Moms And Drunk Hippie Chicks: Tip The Band!

She's got the perfect suburban-biker-mom-tan and she's on the dance floor shakin' it like she did 30 years ago and actually showing the younger drunk hippie chicks a thing or two, if only 'cause they're so drunk that they are not actually dancing but flopping about as if their inner gyroscope's gone haywire. As we prepare to begin our 2nd set biker mom weaves her way to the front of the band. "Okay now, I don't want anything slow, and we can't have anything sad okay now! My week's been too hard and some these girls are havin' a tough time too and we gotta keep it up and you gotta make us happy okay! Keep it real up and peppy. Now you guys gotta play some songs by..." I got my start in this business playing with some ruthless motherfuckers who enjoyed telling people like this woman to "Shut the fuck up". I've worked for leaders who enjoyed shoving people off the stage and onto their asses on the peanut shell-covered floors of bars in Montana and South Dakota. I like to think that I have remained a bit of an old fashioned gentleman despite such an upbringing. I smiled as she went on, "I just spent $600 on a radiator for my 2-week old car and I'm sick of people telling me I spent too much money on it so don't tell me I've spent too much..." Now I'm getting pissed! My 17-year old car had just died. Dead and gone to the junk yard. I had no car, I was broke, late on rent, nothing in savings, needed groceries for my little girl back at home... Just another typical working musician. But I was sober and I was listening to this crap and in the sweetest golly-gosh kinda voice I could muster I just smiled into her eyes and interrupted, "Say! Do you think you could find us something to put our tip jar on? You see it's down there in front of my bass drum, yeah, that jar with a dollar in it, and i just don't think anybody here can see it - maybe that table over there or something would work great-thankyousomuch!" Putting both of her hands feebly to her jean pockets she began to mumble, "Well I just don't have any..." and she did a 180 to the bar for another drink.